The issues that need to be sorted after divorces aren’t limited to which spouse gets custody of the kids, who has to move out, or who keeps the plasma screen TV. When a couple unties the knot, who gets custody of the friends?

A swift way of dividing friendships is to use the idea that, like furniture and other possessions, you take out what you brought in. In spite of this, difficulty arisies when you take into consideration the friends you and your partner made as a couple. A divorced couple may suddenly find themselves abandoned by marries couples with whom they shared dinners, movie nights, or play dates between their kids. These friends possibly avoid socializing with either partner in a divorce because they don’t want to be perceived as taking sides. Which begs the question: When you’re divorcing, how do you sort out who gets which friend?

Helping you help yourself,

Many separated or divorced people seem to be deferring their happiness until they achieve certain goals. We tell ourselves, “I’ll be happy when my divorce is finalized,” “I’ll be happy when I get custody of the kids,” “I’ll be happy when I finally meet that one person in the world who’s right for me.”

Dr. Barbara De Angelis, a relationship therapist, calls this behaviour the “I’ll be happy when…” Syndrome; we sabotage our happiness by postpoing it until some outside event or occurance changes our lives forever. The truth, however, is that happiness is not an acquisition, it’s a skill. It’s not about what we get or experience, it’s about the way we live our lives every day. We can get things we thought would make us happy, such as a house, a spouse, the kids, but we’re not going to be any happier because happiness isn’t dependent on the outside.

Helping you help yourself,

Source: Divorce Magazine