Many separated or divorced people seem to be deferring their happiness until they achieve certain goals. We tell ourselves, “I’ll be happy when my divorce is finalized,” “I’ll be happy when I get custody of the kids,” “I’ll be happy when I finally meet that one person in the world who’s right for me.”

Dr. Barbara De Angelis, a relationship therapist, calls this behaviour the “I’ll be happy when…” Syndrome; we sabotage our happiness by postpoing it until some outside event or occurance changes our lives forever. The truth, however, is that happiness is not an acquisition, it’s a skill. It’s not about what we get or experience, it’s about the way we live our lives every day. We can get things we thought would make us happy, such as a house, a spouse, the kids, but we’re not going to be any happier because happiness isn’t dependent on the outside.

Helping you help yourself,

Source: Divorce Magazine